Brokenness From Brokenness

This past Sunday our "Family Matters" series continued the discussion on New Testament marriage by focusing on the difficult issue of divorce & remarriage. It's a topic we don't like to talk about because it hits so close to home. All of us have been impacted by it in some way to the point that it's sadly become almost normal. Even in the church, we've adopted cultural views of marriage, divorce, & remarriage that when we take an honest look at Scripture, are in direct conflict with God's Word.

Jesus directly addressed the issue of divorce & remarriage multiple times throughout the Gospel. His message was consistently clear. His message was that the disposable view of marriage that His culture & our culture hold is in defiance of God's design. Our sinful approach to marriage doesn't negate God's design. In fact, Jesus says repeatedly that divorce was permitted, not approved. Divorce became a reality because our heart are hardened toward one another & toward God. Our broken marriages are the result of our broken hearts. Even when the New Testament discusses the grounds on which divorce is permitted, we find that divorce should be the last resort. As Gospel people, reconciliation should always be our goal. That's why in multiple places throughout the New Testament, divorced couples are instructed not to remarry but to stay single or pursue reconciliation. After all, divorces that are on unbiblical grounds only create sin on top of sin as we enter into adulterous remarriages. Based on the New Testaments warnings & instruction on this issue, there is one thing we have to recognize:

"Protecting Your Heart Protects Your Marriage."

If you're single, protect your heart now so that you know how to protect it later. If you're married, protect your heart against unforgiveness, pride, unrepentance, & selfishness. If you don't, they'll eat away at your marriage. If you're divorced & single, take God's word seriously. Was your divorce on biblical grounds of sexual immorality or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse? If not, acknowledge that your divorce was outside the New Testament parameters. Divorce is not an unforgivable sin, but we do need to call it what it is & seek forgiveness. Even if your divorce was on biblical grounds, did you pursue reconciliation? If not, confess your failure to reflect the Gospel, even in such a difficult situation. If you're divorced & remarried, was your remarriage biblical? If not, confess it, find forgiveness at the cross, & then seek to model an Ephesians 5, Gospel marriage. 

We must take God's word seriously. We must spend time in it & asking God to reveal its implications for us & our situations. If not, we are doomed to embrace the cultural view that marriage is for us & about us, & therefore no matter your situation, you have every right to marry, divorce, & remarry as many times as you want until you find that elusive thing: happiness. Instead, let's pursue holiness by protecting our hearts & as a result, protecting our lives & our marriages.

The Friday Five

Enjoy this week's Friday Five.

1. Music: The Civil Wars: Live At Eddie's Attic. This was my introduction to the far too short lived duo who made depressing acoustic music cool again. I had heard the single "Barton Hollow" on the radio & found my way to their website where at the time you could download this album for FREE. It's absolutely amazing. Some of the most played tracks on my entire iTunes library come from this album. The Civil Wars studio work is great, but they're live stuff is incredible. You have to have this one!
2. Quote: "It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men." Frederick Douglass
3. Article/Post: Playing The Long Game In A World Addicted To Instant. Jon Acuff shares both the frustration & the necessity of raising children who learn patience & perseverance in an on-demand world.
4. Follow: Jon Acuff. Speaking of Acuff, he's one of the best follows on any social media platform. I've got his Twitter account linked here for you, but if you're on Instagram, find him & follow him there too. He's insightful, but he's also one of the funniest people around.
   
5. TV: Luther. Idris Elba is finally becoming a big deal in the U.S. with rumors of his possibly becoming James Bond someday. In fact, you can go hear him voice Sheer Khan in the new live action Jungle Book film opening this week. However, those of us who love BBC's programming, we've know Elba for awhile. Luther is a classic cop show, & Elba's Luther is the classic "cop who plays by his own rules" character. It's fun, & the characters are well developed & complicated. There are rumors of a Luther movie or U.S. TV reboot, but we'll have to wait & see.

Is A Happy Marriage Enough?

This week in our current series "Family Matters" we looked at the issue of marriage. Marriage has been one of the biggest social topics in the last few years as we've seen the U.S. Supreme Court's rulings on same sex marriage & begun to look at what that's going to mean for our culture & our churches.

While many people feel that June 2015 is when the church lost the marriage debate, I would argue that we lost the debate long before that when we began to exchange the New Testament, Gospel driven view of marriage for the cultural views & perspectives on the marriage relationship. For example, many Christians would be quick to praise a couple that is celebrating 50 years of marriage, but what if the goal of marriage isn't just to stay married? What if the goal in marriage is just managing to not kill each other or abandon each other? What if there's something far more significant? What if there is something deeply spiritual about marriage?

If you look at Ephesians 5:21-33 you'll find the answer to those questions. There is something more to marriage than just surviving it. There is something deeper than just managing to stay together. And there is something incredibly, profoundly spiritual about the marriage relationship. Paul says that when husband & wife submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, they're not only reflecting Christ's submission to His Father's will & our need, they're also growing in holiness. When the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church & when the wife submits to her husband as she would to Christ, they are illustrating what Paul called a "profound mystery." When husband & wife fulfill their roles, their marriage covenant becomes a reflection of Christ's love for the Church & the Church's devotion & submission to her Savior. They're relationship becomes a picture of the Gospel for a watching world that needs to not simply see healthy marriage, but needs to see Christ.

However, too many of us have exchanged the beauty described in Ephesians 5 for the world's cheap substitutes. We've managed to be content with simply having a "happy marriage," whatever that means. And by the way, it's usually defined by MY happiness, not the happiness of my spouse. What if in prioritizing & focusing on happy marriages we've missed out on what God really wants for us?

"Stop Focusing On A Happy Marriage & Start Pursuing A Holy Marriage."

You might be wondering if there's really a difference between happy & holy. My answer would be "Yes" & "No." In the short term there's a big difference. After all, the thing that I deeply feel & believe will make me happy right now might lead me away from holiness. On the other hand, if we take the long view, pursuing holiness will lead us to happiness & something even greater than happiness: joy. It's really a matter of what we prioritize. If our goal is happiness in our marriage, we'll find ourselves chasing mirages because happiness by the world's standards is so fleeting & fragile. If however we pursue holiness, husbands will sacrificially love their wives & wives will respectfully & lovingly support her husband, & as they do this, they'll grow in holiness & oneness in both the happy times & unhappy times in a way that reflects the oneness of Christ & His Church.

So stop focusing on a happy marriage, & start pursuing a holy marriage. It may seem counterintuitive, but that's the Gospel life: denying self in favor of Christ. If you'll pursue the path of holiness in your marriage, you won't have to worry about happiness.

To access the full teaching on this passage click visit our HERE. Then click the Family Matters graphic to launch the message player.

The Friday Five

This week's Friday Five features leads off with a nod to one of my musical heroes & includes an important read & resource for Christians all over our nation. I hope you enjoy this week's Friday Five.

1. Music: "Hey Jude" by Wilson Pickett. I'm still shocked at how many people don't know about this song. Yes, they know the song; after all, it is a Beatles classic. However, not too long after the Fab Four released it, the legendary soul singer took it on after being encouraged by a long haired hippie guitar player to record it. That long haired hippie was Duane Allman, one of the all time great guitar players. At this time the Allman Brothers Band had not been formed, & Duane was in Muscle Shoals, AL trying to get session work at the legendary Fame Studios. Pickett & Allman's partnership on "Hey Jude" made the song a hit again, & most people recognize Duane's closing guitar solo & the corresponding riff beginning at 2:44 as the beginning of southern rock. 
2. Quote: "We want just enough Jesus to make us acceptable but not enough Jesus to make us fanatical." Bryan Loritts
3. Article/Post: Living On Mission To Reach The Lost. This is a great little article from the North American Mission Board that reminds church members that ALL Christians have a missionary call on their life. In fact, we live in on of the most unreached nations on earth. We just assume otherwise because there are so many church buildings. If we're going to reach our nation, we will have to reach our cities, & if we're going to reach our cities, then we'll have to reach our neighborhoods & workplaces. That means WE are going to have to see ourselves as Great Commission agents & embrace that role so that others see the hope & power of the Gospel in our lives.
4. Podcast: Rainer On Leadership. Them Rainer is the president & CEO of Lifeway Christian Resources. Each week Dr. Rainer provides excellent content not just for pastors but for church members as well. Dr. Rainer often provides great insights for both ministry leaders and church members to consider & gets discussion started through his podcast & blog. It's definitely worth your time.
   
5. Nerd Corner: My friends & family know I'm a guitar junkie. If money were no object, I'd blow a lot of it on guitars. I'm the classic guitar guy who always has one more to add to the collection & "it's the last one I'll ever need..." until of course I see another cool one. With all that said, if you're a guitar junkie too or if you just appreciate fine craftsmanship, follow Gibson Guitars on Instagram. Sure, it may make you wrestle with the temptation to covet, but the price tag on those beauties will usually cure the need pretty quickly.

You WILL Leave A Legacy

This weekend in the second week of our series "Family Matters" we looked at leaving a legacy in our family. Legacy gets talked about a lot, but sometimes we fail to state what should be obvious: You & I will leave a legacy. The only question is what kind.

Let that sink in for a second. Everything you say & do is forming a legacy for your children, grandchildren, & great grandchildren. That's kind of scary isn't it? It's really scary when you start to realize how oblivious we are to that fact most of the time. After all, most of us leave a random legacy. It just sort of happens, & we hope that it's something good, glorifies God, & points our kids toward Jesus. What if, however, we were intentional about leaving a legacy in our families? What would it look like?

Take a look at Deuteronomy 6. In the first 20 verses or so Moses lays out the responsibility the families of this new nation would have to pass on the knowledge of God to their descendants. The goal of God's word was to make sure that the kids & grandkids would know & serve God. Then Moses lays out the teaching end of leaving a legacy & the living part of leaving a legacy. The word of God should be a priority in our homes. Our lives should be consistent with our words. We shouldn't just talk about God to our kids & grandkids; we should demonstrate to them what trusting God looks like & teach them to trust Him too. Finally, in verse 20 Moses says that one day our kids are going to ask us why we do what we do, why the Bible is such priority in our homes, & why we're different from other people. Our answer, Moses said, should be rooted in God's saving, redemptive work.

"Leaving A Godly Legacy Is Rooted In God's Redemptive Work

And Passed On Through God's Revealed Word."

So what are some practical ways to put this passage & this principle into practice?

1. Impress God's Word On Your Heart First. (Deut. 6:6)
2. Impress God's Word On Your Kid's/Grandkids' Heart. (Deut. 6:7)
3. Teach Them The Word Through The Lens Of The Gospel. (Deut. 6:20)
4. Make Sure Your Training (Actions) Matches Your Teaching (Words). (Deut. 6:6-12)

This may seem overwhelming, but it's really this simple: Do something. You don't have to be a scholar. You don't have to be a gifted teacher. The power is in God's word. Just put it in front of your family. Let Jesus be the star of His word. Then lead the way in putting His word into practice in your life. You don't need an elaborate plan. You just need a plan. Stick to it as best you can, but don't beat yourself up if you drop the ball every now & then. Remember the goal isn't just to teach your kids or grandkids the Bible. Your goal is to introduce them to Jesus.