Kingdom Minded Moms & Dads

We wrapped up our Family Matters message series over the last two weeks with messages focused on parenting. We began with a message for moms & looked at 1st Samuel 1. This chapter of God's redemption story begins with a woman who desperately wanted to become a mother. However, her desire for a child wasn't just about satisfying her maternal instincts. Her desire was that God would use that little life to glorify His name & further His Kingdom. In fact, in Hannah's prayer in 1st Samuel 1, we see that before she is even pregnant, she sets aside her son for God. She knows that being given a child is a gift from God, but she also understood something profound about motherhood:

"The Greatest Gift A Mother Can Give Her Child 

Is To Give Her Child To God."

Hannah surrendered her plans & hopes for her child to God's plans. She knew that, above all else, being used by God & serving His Kingdom should be her desire for her son. Sometimes as parents we let our protective instincts go off the tracks, & if we're not careful, we end up protecting our kids from God Himself. As a result, we inadvertently rob them of the only thing that matters in life. May we all pursue Hannah's example of surrender.

This past weekend we focused our message toward dads by looking at a season of King David's life that was a total train wreck. In 2nd Samuel 11 David has his scandalous fall with Bathsheba. The chapters that follow tell a tale of chaos & calamity in David's family. And it all started with David losing the battle in his heart. David should have been on the battlefield, but instead he was on the roof. The fallout from David's sin landed squarely on his family. In the end he loses three sons, & one of his daughter's has her life destroyed when her half-brother rapes her. All the while, David did nothing as his family fell apart. He had lost his moral authority & credibility on that rooftop. David's life can teach us something important as fathers:

"Our Biggest Battles Will Always Be In Our Heart & Our Home."

David probably though his slip up with Bathsheba was no big deal until it spiraled out of control...the way sin always does. The truth is that the battles we often think are big are insignificant, & the battles we think are insignificant are actually the big ones. Too many men are on the rooftop rather than on the battlefield. They're being distracted by the things of the world, & like David they're eyes are lingering a little too long. It's time for fathers to focus their attention on the battlefield for the sake of their families, for the sake of the next generation, but most importantly for the sake of the Gospel.

Is A Happy Marriage Enough?

This week in our current series "Family Matters" we looked at the issue of marriage. Marriage has been one of the biggest social topics in the last few years as we've seen the U.S. Supreme Court's rulings on same sex marriage & begun to look at what that's going to mean for our culture & our churches.

While many people feel that June 2015 is when the church lost the marriage debate, I would argue that we lost the debate long before that when we began to exchange the New Testament, Gospel driven view of marriage for the cultural views & perspectives on the marriage relationship. For example, many Christians would be quick to praise a couple that is celebrating 50 years of marriage, but what if the goal of marriage isn't just to stay married? What if the goal in marriage is just managing to not kill each other or abandon each other? What if there's something far more significant? What if there is something deeply spiritual about marriage?

If you look at Ephesians 5:21-33 you'll find the answer to those questions. There is something more to marriage than just surviving it. There is something deeper than just managing to stay together. And there is something incredibly, profoundly spiritual about the marriage relationship. Paul says that when husband & wife submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, they're not only reflecting Christ's submission to His Father's will & our need, they're also growing in holiness. When the husband loves his wife as Christ loves the Church & when the wife submits to her husband as she would to Christ, they are illustrating what Paul called a "profound mystery." When husband & wife fulfill their roles, their marriage covenant becomes a reflection of Christ's love for the Church & the Church's devotion & submission to her Savior. They're relationship becomes a picture of the Gospel for a watching world that needs to not simply see healthy marriage, but needs to see Christ.

However, too many of us have exchanged the beauty described in Ephesians 5 for the world's cheap substitutes. We've managed to be content with simply having a "happy marriage," whatever that means. And by the way, it's usually defined by MY happiness, not the happiness of my spouse. What if in prioritizing & focusing on happy marriages we've missed out on what God really wants for us?

"Stop Focusing On A Happy Marriage & Start Pursuing A Holy Marriage."

You might be wondering if there's really a difference between happy & holy. My answer would be "Yes" & "No." In the short term there's a big difference. After all, the thing that I deeply feel & believe will make me happy right now might lead me away from holiness. On the other hand, if we take the long view, pursuing holiness will lead us to happiness & something even greater than happiness: joy. It's really a matter of what we prioritize. If our goal is happiness in our marriage, we'll find ourselves chasing mirages because happiness by the world's standards is so fleeting & fragile. If however we pursue holiness, husbands will sacrificially love their wives & wives will respectfully & lovingly support her husband, & as they do this, they'll grow in holiness & oneness in both the happy times & unhappy times in a way that reflects the oneness of Christ & His Church.

So stop focusing on a happy marriage, & start pursuing a holy marriage. It may seem counterintuitive, but that's the Gospel life: denying self in favor of Christ. If you'll pursue the path of holiness in your marriage, you won't have to worry about happiness.

To access the full teaching on this passage click visit our HERE. Then click the Family Matters graphic to launch the message player.

You WILL Leave A Legacy

This weekend in the second week of our series "Family Matters" we looked at leaving a legacy in our family. Legacy gets talked about a lot, but sometimes we fail to state what should be obvious: You & I will leave a legacy. The only question is what kind.

Let that sink in for a second. Everything you say & do is forming a legacy for your children, grandchildren, & great grandchildren. That's kind of scary isn't it? It's really scary when you start to realize how oblivious we are to that fact most of the time. After all, most of us leave a random legacy. It just sort of happens, & we hope that it's something good, glorifies God, & points our kids toward Jesus. What if, however, we were intentional about leaving a legacy in our families? What would it look like?

Take a look at Deuteronomy 6. In the first 20 verses or so Moses lays out the responsibility the families of this new nation would have to pass on the knowledge of God to their descendants. The goal of God's word was to make sure that the kids & grandkids would know & serve God. Then Moses lays out the teaching end of leaving a legacy & the living part of leaving a legacy. The word of God should be a priority in our homes. Our lives should be consistent with our words. We shouldn't just talk about God to our kids & grandkids; we should demonstrate to them what trusting God looks like & teach them to trust Him too. Finally, in verse 20 Moses says that one day our kids are going to ask us why we do what we do, why the Bible is such priority in our homes, & why we're different from other people. Our answer, Moses said, should be rooted in God's saving, redemptive work.

"Leaving A Godly Legacy Is Rooted In God's Redemptive Work

And Passed On Through God's Revealed Word."

So what are some practical ways to put this passage & this principle into practice?

1. Impress God's Word On Your Heart First. (Deut. 6:6)
2. Impress God's Word On Your Kid's/Grandkids' Heart. (Deut. 6:7)
3. Teach Them The Word Through The Lens Of The Gospel. (Deut. 6:20)
4. Make Sure Your Training (Actions) Matches Your Teaching (Words). (Deut. 6:6-12)

This may seem overwhelming, but it's really this simple: Do something. You don't have to be a scholar. You don't have to be a gifted teacher. The power is in God's word. Just put it in front of your family. Let Jesus be the star of His word. Then lead the way in putting His word into practice in your life. You don't need an elaborate plan. You just need a plan. Stick to it as best you can, but don't beat yourself up if you drop the ball every now & then. Remember the goal isn't just to teach your kids or grandkids the Bible. Your goal is to introduce them to Jesus.

Adopted By The King

This weekend we began a new series at Zebulon to celebrate Easter. This new series is called "Family Matters," & over the next few weeks we want to talk about things that are important to families because families are important. However, we don't want it to just be a list of tips & techniques to be a better spouse, parent, child, etc. Instead we want to demonstrate how embracing the truth of the Gospel & living the Gospel life will transform every part of your life, including your family.

So we began our series with the issue that matters most to us & our families. Before our families can be all that we want them to be & all that they could be, we first have to be a part of God's family. And the good news of the Gospel is that in Christ we're not only offered the gift of salvation we're also invited to accept the gift of a new identity.

"In Christ, God Doesn't Just Accept Us. He Adopts Us."

Romans 8 is one of the most beautiful chapters in all of Scripture, & in verse 15 Paul tells us that when we accept the truth of the Gospel, not only are we forgiven but we receive what Paul calls "the Spirit of adoption." It means that we are brought into God's family with full rights. It means we become co-heirs with Christ to the Kingdom of God. It means that our old identity is gone. Our old debts...gone. Our old obligations...gone. Instead Paul tells us in verse 12 that we have an obligation, but it's not a slavish obligation. It's an obligation to our Father, & it's an obligation to our family. It means we have a responsibility to be about what our Father would be about, namely loving & reaching the lost & making disciples out of sinners.

In Christ, we've been adopted by the King of the universe. We've been made sons & daughters of the Most High God through the life, death, & resurrection of Jesus Christ. Yes, when we turn to Christ in faith, trusting Him alone to save us, our sins are forgiven, & we are justified before God. However, in addition to that, we also are brought into a new family with all the rights, privileges, & responsibilities that come with it. Now that's Good News.

5 Things That Make Anyone A Better Communicator

If you have some responsibility of communicating to a group of people on a regular basis you know the pressure that comes to have something to say. You want it to be fresh, inspiring, challenging, maybe even life changing for someone. However, if you teach every week, preach every week, or give presentations every week, you know it can be difficult to muster both the energy & the content to bring compelling, helpful messages that your audience walk away from knowing something new & knowing what to do with it.

With that in mind, I want to offer five very simply, very practical things that anybody can do to stay on top of their speaking/teaching/preaching schedule. These are simple things that I do all the time that have helped me grow as a communicator. By no means am I some kind of preaching & teaching guru, but I do want to pass along things I've learned over the years so that other teachers, preachers, & communicators can grow as well. Putting these things into practice won't insure that every message or every presentation is a home run, but it will insure that you have fewer swings & misses. 

1) Spend At Least A Little Time In It Every Day

This is one place where the seeds for future ideas come from. Whether this happens in your personal study or in your study time specifically for future message prep, let your daily time in God's Word be a springboard for what God might want to say to others. Looking at your upcoming messages or their texts some everyday also helps you let go of your notes so that you're more connected to your audience.

2) Listen, Listen, Listen

Let's face it, podcasts are the new commentaries, especially when looking for help applying. Listen to super practical preachers & super doctrinal communicators. If you tend to lean toward the doctrinal, textual side, you need help making it practical. Listen to pastors who ask the questions that lead us to wrestle with the text. It will help you not only teach your audience but teach them what to do with it. On the other hand, if you're the person who always wants to wrestle with "what does this mean for real life", you may need to listen to the communicators who help you connect on a deeper level to the timelessness of God's Word.

Listen to great communicators outside your field. A great resource that's out there are the endless supply of Ted Talks. While the presenters may have very little in common with you, they're a resource for you. After all, if someone can give an 18 minute talk about economics & make it somewhat interesting & compelling, you need to figure out what they did as a communicator to make you feel that way about their topic because there are probably people in your meetings, classes, or congregations each week who walk into the room with the same attitude toward whatever you're talking about.

3) Read, Read, Read

Read stuff that makes you think. One way to do that is to read stuff that you might not normally read. Perhaps the author comes from a different background, tribe, or denomination than you. That doesn't mean you can't learn something from them. Don't simply consume material that you know will agree with before you read page 1. Also, read old stuff. If you don't have dead folks in your library, you're missing out on centuries of wisdom. At the same time, read the latest & greatest. There are some incredible men & women producing great work. However, don't assume that what's new is what's better. There's a reason some things are called "classics." To ignore the classics is silly. So go buy some C.S. Lewis, Charles Spurgeon, or Martin Luther while also checking the latest from Matt Chandler or Steven Furtick.

4) Stay Ahead Of The Calendar

Working only on this week's message this week almost insures that it won't be your best. If you're a preacher or teacher or utilizes series based approach, this is almost a necessity. After all, doesn't a series build on itself? That means part 1 & part 4 of a series are connected. You have to know where you're going & how you're getting there. Each message is a whole while also being a part of a bigger message. So if you're only tackling things a week at a time, you're not maximizing your potential impact with your messages. One thing I try to do is to be finishing my next series while I'm preaching my current series. I may have already put outlines together for a series or two down the road but both my current series & my next series are done & ready to go.

If you're not already doing this, you need to map out your year. There are some things that you need to communicate regularly. In my context as a pastor, I know that every year I'm going to tackle issues like biblical stewardship, mission, family issues, not to mention Christmas & Easter. I also like to do a summer series that's usually through an entire book of Scripture. By getting some of those on the calendar as early as possible, I have some idea of where I'm headed. Staying that far ahead also frees you up to handle other responsibilities you might have or to be able to adjust on the fly. People I've talked to who are only going week to week feel such immense pressure that they can't adjust what they're doing. My experience has been greater preparation tends to make me more able to adjust to God's leading should He change my topic for the week.

5) Be You

Everyone is influenced by what they hear, but don't try to be Andy Stanley, Tim Keller, John Piper, or anyone else. God wouldn't have called you if He just wanted a copy of those guys. Plus they're better at being them than you ever will be. Whatever your voice is embrace it. Don't be a parrot of someone else, & don't be a puppet for others. There will always be someone who thinks you should be more "fill in the blank". However, if you're not a screamer, don't try to force it, but if that is who you are, embrace it. God called you & equipped you so that through you, He could be magnified. He doesn't need another version of your favorite communicator. He needs a faithful you. Learn from your influences. Incorporate things you see in them, but don't try to be them. 

These five simple practices are something any of us can do, & as you put them into practice, you'll begin to see the benefits & fruit from it. Don't get caught up in the seemingly endless treadmill of being a regular communicator. Get ahead of the pressure by working harder & smarter. When you do, not only will you benefit & grow from it. Those you lead & teach will as well.

Good Kid, Bad Kid

We just started a new message series at Zebulon Baptist Church called Prodigal. The thing about Jesus' "Parable of the Prodigal Son" is that most of us have heard it (or some version of it) so many times that it's kind of gotten stale. Let's face it, if you were reading through the Gospel of Luke, when you got to chapter 15, you'd at least be tempted to think, "I know this story inside & out, so I'll just skim through to get to chapter 16." It's totally natural. It's why movies that we've seen over & over begin to lose their punch & books that we've read over & over begin to lose their appeal. Familiarity may not always breed contempt, but it does lead us to a "been there, done that" attitude, even about the Bible.

The problem with that mindset is that we end up missing out on the depth that is present in so much of God's word, but especially in this parable. After all, most of us think that the parable is about a punk bratty kid who demands his inheritance, blows it on a wild lifestyle, humbly returns home, & is greeted by a forgiving father who restores him to the family. That's almost always the way this parable is portrayed both in the church & in pop culture. However, when you dig beneath the surface, you'll start to realize that his part of the story isn't even the point. The part of the story we've romanticized is basically a vehicle Jesus uses to get to the real point. The real point Jesus is trying to make is centered around the older brother who stayed home, not the younger brother who ran away.

Take some time this week to go back & read this parable in Luke 15. When you really read it, you discover that these brothers aren't that different. Neither of them were interested in their father. They wanted their inheritance, but they didn't want their father. The younger son simply was open & honest about it. The older brother, on the other hand, was much more subtle & manipulative. He didn't dare ask for his inheritance early. Instead he would simply hang around, do what he was supposed to do, so that he could eventually get the pay off. In the end all either of the brothers wanted was the payoff. You see it in the older brother when he scolds his father for welcoming his brother home. After all, the younger son is the bad kid; he doesn't deserve all the fuss, but he, the older brother, was the good kid. He did everything he was supposed to do. He "slaved away". Therefore he deserved good things. 

At the end of the story, the son who is "lost" isn't the bad kid who came back home. It's the older son who never left, but who assumed that his good, obedient behavior put the father in his debt. Jesus had a powerful spiritual truth He desperately wanted His audience of "sinners, tax collectors, & Pharisees" to understand.

"You Can Be Just As Lost In Your Goodness

As You Can In Your Badness."

Look at this way: Both of these brothers were trying to make their own way in the world. The younger son was going to make his way by rebelling against his father, wishing him dead, & taking his portion of the inheritance so that he could make his own way. The older son, although he stayed home & did everything he was supposed to do, was still trying to make his own way. He viewed his relationship with the father as a slave/master relationship. "I do A, B, & C for you, therefore, you need to do X, Y, & Z for me." In the end the older son was trying to secure his own way in the world. 

Spiritually, most everyone does the same thing. Many of us run away from God, tell Him we don't want to have anything to do with Him (unless an emergency pops up), & set out to live our own life by our own standards. Then there's the rest of us. We're religious. We embrace traditional, Judeo-Christian morals & try to be "good people." And somehow we think that the pursuit of being good people puts God in a position of debt toward us. We've been good. Therefore, God has to bless us, & ultimately God has to forgive us for those few times we weren't good people. All that is is another attempt to make our own way in life. We've just chosen a moralistic path, but we've never submitted ourselves to our Heavenly Father. In the end, both paths are dead ends. Whether you're a wild child or the good child, if you reject the Father, He has no choice but to reject you as well. That's why self-righteousness is so dangerous. It subtly leads us to believe we're in a right relationship with our Father, but the truth is that we're trying to manipulate Him. When we think that practicing our religion or good morals somehow puts God in debt to us, it only blinds us to our own debt to Him.

Who are you in the story of two lost sons? Are you the good kid or the bad kid? How have you tried to make your own way or manipulate God? Here's the good news: our Heavenly Father is the same loving, gracious, pursuing father we see in the parable. He graciously welcomed the rebel back home while also pursuing the self-righteous son to finally embrace their relationship as father & son rather than thinking he somehow had to work for the father's love & blessings.

Not Just What, But What To Do

I remember the first time I heard the Bible taught in a way that I not only understood what God's word said, but I also know what to do with what God's word said. I was at a BigStuf Conference at Union University, & this skinny youth pastor from First Baptist Church in Atlanta walked on stage. From the moment he began sharing from God's word I was drawn in & hooked. He happened to be teaching on sex & purity so he had every teenage boy's attention for a little longer than he might normally, but the hook was set. And he didn't set the hook with something flashy; he set the hook with the truth from God's word. I remember one phrase to this day, "Purity paves the way to intimacy." The point he was making we don't abstain from sexual sin simply out of fear or religious duty. Instead we pursue purity because it leads us to the thing that sexual sin promises but never can deliver: real intimacy, an authentic relationship with someone else that is unlike any other.

Well, that youth pastor was a guy you probably have heard of. His name is Andy Stanley, & those messages that night at the conference are a sort of spiritual mile marker for me. It showed me God's word could be understood & acted upon. It wasn't just another subject to memorize like math equations or historical dates. That practical biblical teaching stirred a hunger in me for God's word that I had never had. Thankfully, I also had a new youth pastor at our church who taught in the same way. He didn't just teach us the Bible; he taught us what to do with the Bible. 

As I've grown up, gone into ministry myself, & taught God's word more times than I can count I've learned an irrefutable truth:

"Application, Not Information, Leads To Transformation."

This truth explains so many of our experiences. It explains why we know people who've only been in church a few months who seem to be growing at warp speed & why we know people who've been in church for decades who still seem to be cold & detached from God & His will. It's because it doesn't matter how often you go to church or how many sermons you hear. It's about what you do with what you hear in those sermons. If you put God's word into practice, it transforms you. If you simply store it away in your memory banks, you will never experience Christ-like transformation. 

That means that guys like me have a huge responsibility. We have to make sure that our teaching is not only biblical but that it's also practical. Biblical teaching & preaching teaches us the Bible, but practical biblical teaching & preaching teaches us the Bible & what to do with the Bible. It asks hard questions. It forces us to wrestle with God's truth & whether it's being trusted in the way we live our lives. Practical biblical teaching removes the excuses of "I don't understand it," or "It's boring" & instead makes the issue a trust issue, a faith issue. It's at that point that our faith can be stretched & therefore strengthened as we surrender new parts of our lives to Christ as we're challenged by His will as revealed in His word. That's why it's so crucial that we not simply teach what God's word says but also help each other understand what to do with it.